Tom: Uh, no, this is a regular episode of the show you're watching. Hank: Ooh, you're back! Wait, something's different! Tom (on TV): (as vampire host) Welcome back to Vampires: Fact or Fiction? It's Fact. (Tom pretends to be the host of the VTV channel.)
My talking hank yawn tv#
Hank continues struggling with his ropes when the TV turns on.) Tom: Hmm, maybe what we need to do is play along! Hank: Spoken like a lying vampire! I've seen the evidence on the show!īen: I know, but contradicting the show's logic isn't going to work. He can't tell fact from fiction!Īngela: Come on, Hank! There's no such thing as vampires! Their appearance as vampires was only Hank's imagination.)īen: It seems Hank's too-long TV session has warped his mind. Hank is shackled to a barbecue.)įriends: (chants) Vampire feast! Vampire feast! Vampire feast! Vampire feast! (Hank screams at a billboard with a vampire on it. Several people, all of whom are vampires, hiss at Hank.) Hank: No! No! Vampires! Vampires among us! It's fact! (Hank runs out of the garage, still chased by the bats.) Ginger: (laughs) You're just in time for the vampire feast! (Hank moves backward, only to bump into Tom and Angela.
Hank: (screams) It's just like the VTV logo! (eyes turn red and fangs appear) we are all vampires! Hank: It's terrible! (shakes Ben) We're out of garlic! And Tom was acting weird. Host: We'll be back after these short messages from our sponsors. Hank: (gasps) Help me, TV! Tell me what to do! Hank: Phew! We have garlic, right in the kitchen on our garlic plate.
A house that has vampires will definitely have no garlic. Host: Your own home could be a vampire den, so you have to look for the signs. Hank: Tom? Where- where'd you go, Tom? (distressed) Hello? Is anybody there? You've been watching this show for over a day. Tom: (turns off TV) Hank, we need to talk. Host: It could be your best friend/roommate. Hank: Whew, don't have to worry about that! Host: The most dangerous vampires are the ones closest to us. Host: No one is really safe from vampires. (Hank slaps himself repeatedly to keep himself awake.) Remember, the greatest weapon against a vampire is knowledge. Host: Vampires can take over a town without any non-vampires knowing. (A montage is shown of Hank watching the show.) Hank: Yeah, okay, good night! I've still got 71 hours left of this marathon to go. Ginger: (laughs) That was a good one! But it's a school night. and inside the grave was a bat! Fact or fiction? It's fact. Afterwards, Hank is seen watching the show.) (A short montage is shown of Hank preparing for the marathon by gathering items. Hank: Ooh! This isn't going to be easy, but if I'm going to be the TV viewer I know I can be, then I've got a show to marathon! Host: But before our 13th season premiere, we'll have a convenient marathon of our first 12 seasons- 74 hours of learning. Hank: 13th season?! I'm not caught up with the first 12 seasons! Host: Welcome to the 13th season of Vampires Among Us: Fact or Fiction? It's Fact. (A man appears from a coffin on the television screen.) (Hank hesitates at first, but then presses the "OK" button on his remote.) Ginger: I'd never be allowed to watch this at home because I'd have nightmares! Let's watch it! (Ginger shows the screen a picture of the VTV logo.) Ginger: (reads TV guide) Whoa, it says you get VTV, the vampire channel! It's so scary, the 'v's in the logo are fangs! Tom: Fine, but don't complain when you realize that you bought a bunch of junk. Hank: Tom, it's not just TV channels, it's five hundred TV channels! Tom: So, you ignored us and bought the TV channels from the creepy guy, right? Ginger is reading on the couch when he sees Hank plugging the device into the television.) Hank: (gives salesman the jar of coins and takes device) Why would I, right? Mysterious Man: Oh, this is a deal you assuredly will not regret! (laughs evilly) (Hank follows the salesman in the streets holding a jar of money. (Tom and Angela leave, leaving Hank alone.) They'll say anything to try and make a sale!Īngela: And Tom should know, because he's basically a salesman.
Tom: (to Hank) You can't trust a salesman. (Tom pulls Hank into the garage and closes the door.) Hank: (gasps) 500 channels? Tom, we should hear him out. I merely thought you might be interested in 500 television channels. Tom: Hank, what are you doing? Don't talk to a door-to-door salesman! (shakes Hank)Īngela: Yeah, back off, buddy! Go peddle your lies somewhere else. Hank: Uh, no, I've never thought about that, but I'm thinking about it now. Salesman: Have you ever felt disappointed with. Hank: (opens door) Hello, uh, may I help you? Hank yawns when the salesman knocks on the door.) (Scene shows a salesman approaching on the garage door at night.
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